Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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