I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize