I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
