I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
