He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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