Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
