LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
