I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize