a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
