I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
