Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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