i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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