omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
