so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
