no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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