I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
