Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
