A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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