My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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