So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
