she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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