remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
