note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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