i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
