THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
