i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
