question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
