My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
