talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
