Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
