I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How naked do you want me to be?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
