if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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