I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
