Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

Fav 5 1032 3855
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(913): View more from Kansas

he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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(224): View more from Illinois

My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

(678): View more from Georgia

you spelled her name wrong

(404): View more from Georgia

not you too!!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.

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