You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
its not stalking. its research.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
