my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i came on her dog
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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