Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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