my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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