it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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