I wish I only lived at night.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
