my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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