It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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