community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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