WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
