omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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