my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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