a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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