Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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