I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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