alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.