How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
