I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents