Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
