apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
