his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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