I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
