Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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(313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr

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(269): View more from Michigan

3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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(269) 3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall http://tfl.nu/8qr4

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(860): View more from Connecticut

oh good, I think they're gone

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the painters?

(860): View more from Connecticut

my herpes

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(860): oh good, I think they're gone (215): the painters? (860): my herpes http://tfl.nu/ob9r

Replies (7) Good night (735) Bad night (1400)
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(310): View more from California

i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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(310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359

Replies (18) Good night (632) Bad night (4419)
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(757): View more from Virginia

my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...

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(757): my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'... http://tfl.nu/26q5

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

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(412): Drinking in an igloo changes everything. http://tfl.nu/71hs

Replies (37) Good night (6580) Bad night (586)
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(703): View more from Virginia

just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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(703): just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/rj37

Replies (7) Good night (2171) Bad night (3882)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

You make your fellow Jews happy.

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(412): I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more. (1-412): You make your fellow Jews happy. http://tfl.nu/gpio

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(530): View more from California

Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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(530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef

Replies (18) Good night (5106) Bad night (838)
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(305): View more from Florida

He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

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(305): He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys. http://tfl.nu/g37d

Replies (310) Good night (11222) Bad night (5589)
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(925): View more from California

it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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(925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn

Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (1866)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang

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(480): Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang http://tfl.nu/1oo5

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(812): View more from Indiana

No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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(812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship

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(608): Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship http://tfl.nu/u2r6

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(518): View more from New York

he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!

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(518): he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him! http://tfl.nu/wppf

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