She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila