CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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