ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

  Fav 36 1633 4556

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh fat girl friday strikes again...

  Fav 60 1022 4610

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song

  Fav 29 4353 1558

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

  Fav 10 3246 982

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.

  Fav 9 1100 2246

  share tweet
  

• (916): View more from California

  This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.

  (831): View more from California

  How much did you smoke??

  Fav 7 1790 907

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"

  Fav 11 3151 858

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

  Fav 23 2283 806

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

  Fav 12 1158 930

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

  Fav 5 1445 516

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.

  Fav 9 517 1250

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (817): View more from Texas

  When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

  Fav 3 880 534

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.

  Fav 1 608 499

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.

  Fav 2 597 236

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.

  Fav 2 223 306

  share tweet
  

Randomize