your thong is hanging out like whoa
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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