is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
